ok. this is just getting ridiculous.

i am tired. i am sick. my entire body feels like it is on fire right now, and if i cough again i feel like my head will explode.

that said, i put on a pretty good show, because after someone found out i was feeling badly, they simply couldn't believe it since i, apparently, look and act...er, like a not-sick person. i just want to be better. i've literally had some form of illness or hurt the entire semester so far. and i want desperately to be able to hang out and be productive...without limits. oh wait, i'm finite. i wonder what i could do if i felt a 100 percent? the world may never know. this seems to be the story of my existence. God...teach me patience and perseverance.

i had a really good day today though. i pushed myself too hard, but i did get to work out this morning with some cool peeps, sit on the dock at the reservoir and bask in the sun with landrie, and then hang out at dinner and afterwards.

i barely got my article for my hometown's newpaper - The ReView - finished tonight...i had procrastinated for so long due to sickness. THAT has been encouraging me a lot. they love my political column (ok, well...this is only my second one technically), and they're thinking about running a series of my letters home from China. speaking of which, i miss china. oh, and oxford. i find myself daydreaming about them all of the time.

i am ready for a roadtrip. i want...need...to get away. from what? nothing really. i love the people here (for the most part), and i'm even enjoying my classes despite my earlier predictions. i just want simplicity suddenly. i'm used to being unbelievably busy, and this semester is sooo different. i'm only taking 15 hours, being an RA, playing intramurals, attending RUF, and doing political stuff...but i have way too much time (compared to the rest of my time in college) to think. and when i think, i get overwhelmed. and i don't DO. enough of that.

"Let us then be up and doing
With a heart for any fate.
Still acheiving, still pursuing,
Learn to labor and to wait."

8th grade English taught me something =).

p.s. there is something that i've come to see i need to do...but i'm too big of a coward. i guess i'm one of those idiots that needs a sign. mostly, i need wisdom, Lord. thanks.