Saturday 28 June 2008
elyse wept.
my heart literally ACHES from missing people and moments. and it's not one or the other...the two are intertwined. i need to write a song about it, but i can't help feeling like that won't do this pain justice.
Friday 27 June 2008
a few landrie-inspired thoughts
"I would have despaired, unless I had known that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." Psalm 27:13
last week, i had a heightened sense of purpose. don't think that means i went around performing great deeds and making life-altering choices. i did, however, burst out with a "damn!" or "shit!" (forgive my lack of eloquence, but the sheer unattainable quality of the ephiphanies i was having required it) in random moments when i was alone. put simply, i was almost able to grasp the gravity of the christian life...the simplicity versus complexity and the determination needed to embrace it. it's not that i was seeing how to go about my calling. i was just beginning to understand in general, to glimpse the shattering truth of the paradoxes we must accept. i think i've been forced back into my finite shelter for now (it's much too agitating to be in my previous state for very long), but i am better for God making the glass a little less dim every once in while. we need those times to refocus us and remind us of our finitude.
today i played tennis with cassie and my little brothers, ran two miles, worked out, read, cooked dinner, and now find myself with a headache. the simple life is apparently tiring. oh great, another paradox. anyways, mom is gone with johnson to a competition in atlanta, and i am left playing mother to everyone. i certainly respect mom a lot more, and realize that this position is less repulsive than i thought before. although, i would probably kick a few kids out of the bargain...seven may be "heaven" as dad likes to say, but i think a smaller number is probably more manageable. just a thought.
we just got back from a two and a half week roadtrip around the MidWest. we hit quite a few states that i hadn't been to before (my official number is now 38. woohooo!) and enjoyed some really gorgeous scenery: the Badlands, Mt. Rushmore, Yellowstone National Park, the Grand Tetons, a ranch, and good ol' Eureka Springs, Arkansas. loverly.
this summer i'm preparing to join the John Jay Institute, a political fellowship, for the next year. in the fall, i'll be in Colorado Springs, and in the spring...who knows? i'm ridiculously intimidated by the eleven other people who will be walking on coals with me (they sound perfectly brilliant), but i am also eagerly and prayerfully awaiting what God has in store. the first part is an intensive time of hashing out political principles and defining our leadership qualities, and the second part will be putting those things to work in an internship. i'll most likely be in washington d.c., but i COULD be in another country...sooo i'm keeping my fingers crossed.
i may not even have enough money to buy my first car, but i have big plans to pick bekah up in romania next summer and backpack around europe. it's a lot harder to make haphazard plans when you are a grown-up who is supposed to have a job...but i manage. i miss traveling so much, and the only way i'll make it for the next year is to have that to look forward to, so raise your glass to blissful expectations.
as for the next few months, i am content to visit and expect visits from friends. also, i'm playing a little piano, hoping to re-pick up guitar, reading a lot, exercising, writing for the ReView, working (a little) at Audubon Press, planning to volunteer next week at the Crisis Pregnancy Center, getting together a girls' bible study, and gathering materials to begin a big scary movie shoot next week. yesss, i'm growing up.
but VERY slowly...=)
last week, i had a heightened sense of purpose. don't think that means i went around performing great deeds and making life-altering choices. i did, however, burst out with a "damn!" or "shit!" (forgive my lack of eloquence, but the sheer unattainable quality of the ephiphanies i was having required it) in random moments when i was alone. put simply, i was almost able to grasp the gravity of the christian life...the simplicity versus complexity and the determination needed to embrace it. it's not that i was seeing how to go about my calling. i was just beginning to understand in general, to glimpse the shattering truth of the paradoxes we must accept. i think i've been forced back into my finite shelter for now (it's much too agitating to be in my previous state for very long), but i am better for God making the glass a little less dim every once in while. we need those times to refocus us and remind us of our finitude.
today i played tennis with cassie and my little brothers, ran two miles, worked out, read, cooked dinner, and now find myself with a headache. the simple life is apparently tiring. oh great, another paradox. anyways, mom is gone with johnson to a competition in atlanta, and i am left playing mother to everyone. i certainly respect mom a lot more, and realize that this position is less repulsive than i thought before. although, i would probably kick a few kids out of the bargain...seven may be "heaven" as dad likes to say, but i think a smaller number is probably more manageable. just a thought.
we just got back from a two and a half week roadtrip around the MidWest. we hit quite a few states that i hadn't been to before (my official number is now 38. woohooo!) and enjoyed some really gorgeous scenery: the Badlands, Mt. Rushmore, Yellowstone National Park, the Grand Tetons, a ranch, and good ol' Eureka Springs, Arkansas. loverly.
this summer i'm preparing to join the John Jay Institute, a political fellowship, for the next year. in the fall, i'll be in Colorado Springs, and in the spring...who knows? i'm ridiculously intimidated by the eleven other people who will be walking on coals with me (they sound perfectly brilliant), but i am also eagerly and prayerfully awaiting what God has in store. the first part is an intensive time of hashing out political principles and defining our leadership qualities, and the second part will be putting those things to work in an internship. i'll most likely be in washington d.c., but i COULD be in another country...sooo i'm keeping my fingers crossed.
i may not even have enough money to buy my first car, but i have big plans to pick bekah up in romania next summer and backpack around europe. it's a lot harder to make haphazard plans when you are a grown-up who is supposed to have a job...but i manage. i miss traveling so much, and the only way i'll make it for the next year is to have that to look forward to, so raise your glass to blissful expectations.
as for the next few months, i am content to visit and expect visits from friends. also, i'm playing a little piano, hoping to re-pick up guitar, reading a lot, exercising, writing for the ReView, working (a little) at Audubon Press, planning to volunteer next week at the Crisis Pregnancy Center, getting together a girls' bible study, and gathering materials to begin a big scary movie shoot next week. yesss, i'm growing up.
but VERY slowly...=)
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