Oh Time, Time, wherefore art thou?

i think i shall move to a lovely chateau in France and tend a vineyard for the rest of my life.

right now, i desperately crave the simple joys of life, and that sounds like the ticket. i want to feel the sun, read a good book, sketch a landscape, squish the dirt beneath my toes, laugh and talk, sleep, experiment, write, explore, and (most of all) dream for as long as i want. there is more to finding pleasure in life than subjecting oneself to schedules and appointments...all in the name of truly living. i want to experience life. can that happen while i frantically scan books and type out essentially unoriginal words? i have a burning desire for more that makes me quite breathless in anticipation of what will come next. sometimes, it flickers out, buried under the banalities of human existence. and, although it makes me restless, i feel a sense of calm and joy when it returns...inspired once more by a word, a thought, an experience. contentment is complacency. that is not something that i...that WE are made for. the future is a dire prospect without this inexplicable sense of longing. i'm reaching, reaching, reaching...and i'm sure i will be until i finally see heaven.

it's funny...i just realized that all of the things i'm longing for can be summed up in a word: Time. the thing that puts a name to our limitations is the thing that we need the most.